apparently e.l. james called former child star mara wilson (matilda) a “sad fuck” for critiquing the 50shades books a while ago and now there’s a feud. i love it.
E.L. James knows as much about BDSM as she would have found in a five minute Google search, which is to say that she knows precisely jack shit.
50 Shades of Grey does not depict a realistic kinky relationship, nor does it depict a healthy relationship of either the kinky or vanilla variety.
It is a Twilight fanfic, and has all the elements of Edward and Bella’s abusive relationship with kink added for extra flavor. Just as Edward and Bella are not a healthy or realistic couple, neither are Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.
Christian Grey is an abuser who manipulates a young woman with zero knowledge of BDSM into a relationship with him. He knows she is ignorant of what a healthy BDSM relationship looks like, and uses this to:
- ignore and override her attempts at negotiation,
- play without a safeword (since she doesn’t know that they exist),
- create a false dichotomy of “either we’re kinky my way or we just don’t have sex at all,”
- threaten and stalk her,
- rape her,
- prevent her from discussing her relationship with anyone other than him,
- and control aspects of her personal life, including what car she drives, what medications she takes, and how she spends her free time.
This is not BDSM. This is not sexy. This is abuse.
Using 50 Shades as your basis for how a kinky relationship works (for critical or practical purposes) is like treating Titanic: The Legend Goes On as a historical documentary. Don’t do it.
For anyone who (somehow) doesn’t know the comparison, this would be Titanic: The Legend Goes On.
Yeah, that’s a pretty fair comparison when it comes to accuracy.
Can we just imagine that Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all used to Rita’s shit at this point that they’re amused by it all. So when ever they find another one of her articles about them, they have a drinking game where they all get together and read the article out loud.
"Alright, she’s called me The Chosen One twice now. That’s two shots for me."
"Ooh, look! She’s still using the TriWizard Tournament. Shots all around. Still holding on to the femme fatale theory, I don’t think she’s ever going to let that go. At least she’s left Hugo and Rose out of it this time.”
"She’d be a nutter not to Hermione, not after that Howler you sent her the last time. Either way, do I get a shot for every family member or just me? Because If I have to drink for all of them, I don’t think Neville’s going to be the one with a drinking problem in the next Prophet."
So here’s what happened when I met Darren Criss for my G4 photoshoot…
Darren: Hey! Wow!
Harrison: Can we do a hug or kissy faces, please? Like… Kurt and Blaine?
Darren: We should Klaine! What should we do!?
Harrison: [mentally going ‘asdfghjkl’] A hug then?
Darren: We’re gonna do this. [GRABS]